Above: Alone again!

A midrange hotel room with private shower, toilet and TV will cost between 5 and 10 US dollars. They are comfortable but basic.

Hotel rooms in India can often be cheerless affairs, and while it's good to get inside and close the door, leaving the crowds behind, it can sometimes be lonely and dank.

Having assured the hotel manager that he didn't want a "nice, clean girl", Mr Pumpy watched a lot of Star TV, Rupert Murdoch's Asian satellite station. It helps if you like cricket and Indian pop clips. As an alternative, make sure you've got a big book.