Hualampong Station (Bangkok Central), with Suan and Kip.

At left: Mr Pumpy's Thai friends Suan (left) and Kip, know that farangs are totally helpless, and being good Thais they're making sure that at least he makes it on to the train in one piece.

They can then go home, say a few prayers for him and get on with their lives.


Two out of three Thais think you'd be mad to cycle in Cambodia.

At left: Kip, the young one, like all Thais, is firmly convinced Mr Pumpy, like all farangs, is a complete nincompoop and this is the last she'll ever see of him.

Suan is a little older and wiser, and passes Mr Pumpy's idiocyncracies off as "cute".

At left: It takes 6 hours to get to Aran by train.